i can't stand myself. i really can't. just about everything in my life is wrong. all messed up, but i am still pretending that everything is fine. having a hell of a time feeling very depressed or filled with angst (not that much) for a while, then the next moment i forgot all about it and begin to think of other stuff. why the heck am i like that? i don't know.

some problems cannot be solved. some can. but i am not doing anything to make things better. i don't know i just can't. i can't sit down for even 15 minutes to study. i know its not that difficult but i just can't.

yeah i am like that. and i am feeling lost. are you my friend? would you care for me? or am i just another small part of your life that you don't really bother and can live without it?

i don't know i have been thinking quite a lot. hope things will get better. yeah.